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Every Questline in WoW Ever...

9/13/2012

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Picture
See this guy? Yeah, him, Mr. black dragonflight. His name is Serinar and he is a jerk. You can find this SoB in the Obsidian Dragonshrine in Dragonblight, Northrend.  Nalice at the Wyrmrest Temple sends you to him and you have to fight your way in just to say hello.  Here's a brief summary of our interaction:

Me: Yo, s'up, Nalice sent me.

Serinar: Puny mortal I've crushed civilizations, you're...hmm...maybe you can help me. If you scout around in this molten, lava infested cave I'll give you this gold.
Me: Gold, that all you got? We're talking lava here...
S: ...I'll also give you another task when you're done.
Me: and that task will be to return to Nalice at the nice, safe, top of Wyrmrest, right?
S: sure, now go- *cast's spell to make me look like a cultist so I can wander without being attacked.*
Me: wait, why do you need me if you can just create a disguise?  I mean, does it only work on mortals? Or-

S: It only lasts for 10 minutes...
Me: Fine, I'm going.

-9 1/2 minutes later-

Me: *back from scouting* Damn, this is a big cave full of unfriendlies
. Well, now you know what's in here, I'll just be going-
S: You're next task is to kill 10 of henchmen-A and 8 of henchmen-B.
Me: um, okay...
S: You'll get more gold, now go!

-9 minutes later, I've fought my way to the back of the monstrous, lava-filled cave._

Me: *yelling* HEY Serinar, there's a guy with a name back here [different from generic henchmen-A & B] You want I should kill him while I'm here?
S: No, just finish your task and return to me.

-8 minutes later-

Me *sweating a bit, with a few scrapes and cuts.* Alright, Those nasty henchmen are dead. You're welcome.
S: Now you need to go all the way to the back of the cave again and light these fires, they'll attract the bats that'll eat the flowers growing in the lava; they power the magick of the bad guys.
Me: *sigh* oookkaayyy...can I get that nifty disguise again so I don't have to fight my way all the way back there?
S: No, now go!
Me: ggrrrr... *mutters* this deal's getting worse all the time.

-7 minutes later, I've once again fought my way to the back of the monstrous, lava-filled cave.-

Me: *yelling louder* HEY Serinar, this guy is STILL here [he's got a name, so he has to be important in some way] He's right here, I can kill him on my way back, easy-peasy...please?
S: Leave him be.  Finish your task and return to me.
Me: I've got a bad feeling about this.

- 9 minutes later -

Me: *sweat drips down my plate armor, the two huge axes droop heavy in my green, orcish hands.*  Ok...*pant, pant* Lit the fires, attracted the bats, flowers are gone. Serinar, it's been nice knowing you-
S: One more task before you leave this cave.
Me: *very heavy sigh* I can't finish the quest line without doing this, right? I'll just have this quest sitting in my Quest Log for years staring at the one I didn't complete. Nalice will be waiting for me to return for the rest of eternity, right?
S: *nods*
Me: then what is it?
S: I need you to go back into the depths of the cave and kill that guy with the name.
Me....What? *stares at Serinar*
I ran past him 3 times, I could have killed him at any of those opportunities. We both knew he was a bad guy.  Probably the leader of all the Henchmen in here...why in gods name did you not have me kill him then?!
S: *blinks* I need you to go back into the depths of the cave and kill that guy with the name.
Me: F-I-N-E  GGGRRRRRRaaaaaarrrrrrggggggg

- 10 minutes later I'm back in the deepest part of the cave, having killed 20 bad guys just to get back here again, because all the ones I killed before respawned and are here AGAIN for my killing pleasure.-

Rothin the Decaying (Guy with the Name) - Halt intruder, how dare you- GAA-
Me: Die! DIE YOU annoying..stupi...gaaa...just DIE!!!!
Rothin the Decaying: *dies*

- 9 minutes later-


Me: *tosses his head at Serinar's feet.* Here, I'm leaving, give me the quest to leave this god forsaken cave.
S: Thank you brave warrior for completing these tasks, here's some gold, you can choose from this assorted, level appropriate armor I just happen to have lying around. Here's the letter to take to Nalice.  Oh, and you're going to have to fight your way back out of the cave.
Me: GGGAAAAAAA!!!1!    

*presses Esc key*
*"Exit Game"*
*Flips Table*


Picture



Me fighting my way out.

Picture
The questline ends where it began - with Jerk #2.

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